


Breaking Boundaries

by orphan_account



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: F/M, First Love, Forbidden Love, Love at First Sight, M/M, Malec, Parabatai, Sizzy - Freeform, alec and jace fall in love, clace, clary - Freeform, jalec - Freeform, love quadrangle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-24
Updated: 2015-11-16
Packaged: 2018-04-27 21:21:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5064643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The only bond forbidden to the parabatai is the romantic bond. As upheld by the Clave and written into the Shadowhunter's Codex, these bonded pairs must maintain the dignity of their warrior bond and must not allow it to transform into the earthly love referred to as Eros."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. rising from the ashes

_"Entreat me not to leave thee,_  
_Or return from following after thee—  
For whither thou goest, I will go,_  
_And where thou lodgest, I will lodge._  
_Thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God._  
_Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried._  
_The Angel do so to me, and more also,_  
If aught but death part thee and me."

* * *

 

 

 Perhaps it was the rain or the children laughing outside, but this morning Alec was in a particular bad mood. He couldn't figure out where the children laughs were coming from and he couldn't be bother either. He got up and made his way down to the kitchen. As usual he was the first one to be awake already. It didn't took long before Jace came down bringing Max attached to him. 

Max quickly sit at the table and started devouring his breakfast. Unlike Isabelle, Alec was actually a good cook, at least he didn't made anyone feel the need to throw up while - or after - finishing his meals. 

"Plans for today?" Max tried to say with his mouth full of food. 

Jace laughed which made Max upset. As usual they never included him in anything and he was tired of feeling young and being treated like a child. He looked up to Jace more than anything, which at times, made Alec a little bit jealous, not in a really bad way but he wished he could get along better with his little brother. Unlike Alec, Jace often allowed Max to do certain things that were a bit out of his league, so to speak which made Max like him even more. 

"Smells nice in here." Isabelle walked in, beautiful as always. She was wearing a tight black dress which made her curves stand out. She was perfect indeed, with her long black hair, falling to her back in perfect well made curls. 

Alec was still in his chair and he couldn't help but to stare at Jace. His blond hair and golden eyes, his good looks were something Jace was really proud of and he never lost the chance to use it on everyone around him. For his own despair, it worked on Alec too. He never said out loud or made any indication whatsoever of his true feelings for Jace. They were parabatai after all and if there was one thing that is explicit forbidden was love. You could not, in any way have a romantic relation with your parabatai. You couldn't fall in love and Alec hated himself for it. As far as he knew, Jace didn't felt the same. He loved him of course, the way you love your parabatai, the way you are _supposed_ to love your parabatai. 

"Demon hunting of course" Jace replied. Alec snapped out of it and simply nodded. "We are going to Pandemonium tonight." 

After breakfast everyone went on with their lives. Which basically meant they were off to the training room or to the library. This was just like any other day. Training, learning, becoming better, becoming the best. Killing demons, protecting the world etc. 

Later came and they were ready. To no one's surprise, Max was standing next to Jace like he was ready to go into battle as well, or so he thought it was a battle. 

"You can't go Max. We have been over this a thousand times." Alec said. He was still in a particular bad mood and he wasn't having any of this at the moment.

Jace with his charming way and wit, convinced Max to leave and entertain himself until their arrival. "This won't take long." Jace told him.  "You would get bored anyway." With a frown the size of heaven, Max went away. 

"Still familiar with the plan?" Alec asked Isabelle. She nodded. She was wearing a white dress and she was ready. All of them knew what to do. 

"Let's kill this shape shifter!" Jace said and they left.

 

                                    ** 

Soon as they got home, Max came running. He always wanted to know everything, how the fight went, who killed it. Jace was a hero to him. 

"How was it? What happened?"

"Max, not now." Alec said stepping aside and ignoring his little brother. 

They all looked like something had gone wrong and although they did what they intended to do, in the end something went wrong. Alec's mood for once got even worse. He had seen the way Jace looked at that girl. That stupid mundane girl who almost got him killed. Why was he so interested in her? Sure she could see them, she was probably just a mundie with the sight. 

It was getting late anyway, so Alec decided it was time to sleep. But first he went for a shower. Nothing could really prepared him for what was about to happen but one thing he knew for sure, this would change his life. His relation with Jace would never be the same, or so he thought.

Alec slowly walked into his room, he wasn't really expecting anyone to show up. Izzy was probably in her bedroom already and Jace was somewhere in the library talking with Max, making sure he was still his hero or even talking about that  _mundane girl._    
 _Do not get jealous._ Alec thought to himself. He's your parabatai, nothing else. He can like whoever he wants to like. But he couldn't trust that girl. He still thought it was a bad idea, Hodge would probably like to talk to her, figure out a few things but they decided to let her go. The Institute was quiet. 

Obviously Alec was not expecting Jace to walk into his room right when he was removing his clothes and ready to get into the shower. Jace didn't even thought twice, he just burst inside babbling about something that probably was no big deal. Alec felt his cheeks turn red and although he tried to cover himself up, it was too late. Jace had seen it. Now Jace being who he was, Alec was expecting him to laugh it off. To make some comment or joke about it. But he didn't. He just stared at Alec the way he had never see him do it before. 

After a few seconds of staring, Jace finally reacted. He turned around and he couldn't hide how embarrassed he was. 

"I... I, I'm so sorry. Truly. I'll... I'll go now.. I bye" He said or at least tried to and then left. 

Alec was holding a black T-Shirt to cover himself. He couldn't think about what exactly Jace had seen, in fact he did not wanted to think about it at all. Would Jace come back? Perhaps it was better for Alec to get into the shower already. He was sure he couldn't handle anything like this happening again. What was Jace thinking, what did he even wanted? What was he saying? Maybe he should just relax, enjoy his shower and never talk about this ever again. 

But Alec was not being able to let it go. Was he dreaming or was he seeing things that did not existed. The way Jace looked at him, what could it possibly mean?


	2. Are we gonna talk about what happened last night?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Perhaps this was what they meant by falling in love being forbidden when it comes to your parabatai. Love ruins everything. It makes things awkward, it creates problems that could easily be avoided. Alec didn't wanted this situation to get in the way of their fighting skills, or their parabatai bond...

Unlike every other day, Alec was not the first to go downstairs. In fact he was sure he would never leave his room, ever again. He didn't wanted things to change. He was perfectly fine with loving Jace in the distance, loving him without ever having to let him know, loving him knowing they would never get married, they would never be a couple. Trying to love him like the way you were supposed to love your parabatai, nothing else. So yes, that was Alec's goal. Forget the whole thing and it would have been easier if Jace had acted the way Alec expected him to, things would have been easier. Alec would be able to relax and move on. But that didn't happened. Jace didn't spoke, well he tried at least. He froze and he looked embarrassed. Jace, the God who was constantly talking about his looks, who was more than confident and was not afraid to share it. Who was sure of himself. 

Alec distracted himself from his own thoughts when he heard someone knocking on the door.

"If you only some people knew how to knock." He said more to himself than anything else. "Who is it?"

"Ah, it's Isabelle. Are you coming down or what?" 

"Sure. Just a minute." Isabelle didn't cared and she walked inside. Alec looked upset. "Did I told you to come in?" 

"What's gotten into you?" She asked. She looked hurt. 

"Nothing. I'm sorry. I'll be down in a minute." He replied.

"Fine." She said. "I don't know what the hell happened but I'm in the mood to handle you plus Jace acting weird today." She added.

Alec froze and stopped whatever it was that he was doing. What did she meant by Jace acting weird today? Was he affected by what happened? He wanted to know but he also didn't had the courage to talk to Jace about it. 

Eventually he made his way downstairs. Perhaps this was what they meant by falling in love being forbidden when it comes to your parabatai. Love ruins everything. It makes things awkward, it creates problems that could easily be avoided. Alec didn't wanted this situation to get in the way of their fighting skills, of their parabatai bond. Talking about it could create some sort of tension or awkward vibes between the two of them which, again, brings him back to reasons why you are not allowed to fall in love with your parabatai. But who chooses who to love anyway? As far as he knew, it doesn't works in that way. 

Jace was leaning into the kitchen door when Alec walked in. Their arms touched one another and there was like an electric shock passing by through their bodies. At least that's what Alec felt.

"Good morning." Jace said and Alec nodded.

 _Should I talk about last night?_ Alec wondered. He decided to stay quiet and eat breakfast. Sadly, due to his tardiness, breakfast had been made by Isabelle meaning it was not edible. 

"Did something happened that I am missing?"  Isabelle wasn't stupid and she could tell something was going on. Jace wasn't usually this quiet and Alec, well, he could be usually this moody but there was something off. 

"No idea what you mean." Jace replied.

Isabelle gave up on, for now, trying to figure what was happening and she left the kitchen leaving the two  _parabatai_ alone. Alec wanted to just ask him about it, get this over with. But he was scared, oh so deeply scared. Jace meant the world to him.  _What if it meant nothing to him? What if I'm just overreacting?_ Alec thought. It was rather easier to just get it on with.

"So about last night..." He started but Jace cut him off.

"I'm sorry." He simply said.

"Sorry about what?" 

"Ah, seeing you naked? Or did something else happened I wasn't aware of?" Jace said. He was now eating an apple and Alec felt a bit relieved. This sounded more like the Jace he knew. He seemed less embarrassed than he did the previous night.

"Right. That. What did you wanted anyway?" 

"Nothing much. Just talking. Again I apologize for bursting in your room like that."

"You are awfully quiet today. Is this because of the girl from last night?" Alec asked. He knew the answer could be yes but he did not wanted it to be so.

"You could say so." 

 

A typical day went going by, only this time Alec had to admit he too was thinking about the girl from the club. Who was she and why could she see them? The most likely answer was that she had the sight. What Alec didn't know is that Jace went to meet her, no matter how many times he said he was just making sure everything was fine and hunting for demons, he went to see  _her._ Which became pretty obvious when he burst inside the Institute talking nonsense about Clary - yes that was her name - being a shadowhunter. Hodge didn't seemed surprised which made Alec believed he was the one telling Jace to go and get Clary.

"So where is she?" Hodge asked him.

Jace looked frenzied. "What do you mean?"

"Where's the girl? Wasn't she supposed to come with you?" Hodge asked again.

"Oh yes." Jace said, this time he looked calmer. "Something happened. I'm not sure what. Her mother called and then she left. Which I think I should go and she what's happening." 

For Alec, it was simple. Jace liked the girl. There was no other explanation for it and it made Alec upset. He knew deep down he shouldn't let it affect him but it did so he might as well accept it. 

Jace got right on time while Clary was being attacked by a demon. And he brought her to the Institute. 

**3 days later.**

Jace had been gone to see Clary every day till she woke up. He was interested and that made Alec upset. Why did he cared so much about her? Alec was in his room when again, Jace burst inside.

"You have to stop doing that." Alec said getting up. "One day you will see something, you definitely do not want to see." 

"Didn't that already happened?" Jace asked. "Clary is awake. Thought you should know. Isabelle is with her."

 _Oh wonderful._ Alec sarcastically thought. Lucky Max was gone with their parents overseas so he wasn't around to fill everyone with questions or overwhelm Clary. This wasn't a good idea at all, they could get into trouble for having her in the Institute. But Jace seemed delighted by it. Alec took a moment before leaving his room, when he did he realized Clary was already talking to Hodge. Again he thought it was a bad idea and he was willing to let them know about it. 

"What's with the face?" Jace asked soon as he saw his parabatai. 

"You do know Mundanes aren't allowed here?" Alec asked about. 

"She was hurt. I had to. She could have died." Alec looked at him in contempt. "Do not give me that look, your obstinacy is wearing on my patience. What is this really about, Alec? Please tell so I must understand what's gotten into you the last few days." 

"I just don't want us to get into trouble. That's all." He replied but Jace wasn't going to let it. Alec tried to walk away but Jace grabbed his arm. "Don't." Alec said. 

"Fine. Be the way you are." Jace said and let his arm go.

"No." Alec said and looked angrier now. "Why are you the way that you are? Why must you be so all over Clary" Alec said her name like a middle school boy would say the name of the girl he had a crush on. "What's so special about her?"

Alec had no idea where this was coming from, he had always been able to keep his feelings to himself and now he was sounding like a jealous boyfriend, this was not his place to act in that way. He was Jace's parabatai, of course but did it gave him the right to act like this? Alec was pretty sure the answer was no. 

The expression on Jace's face drastically changed. For a moment Alec saw the Jace from the other night again. The way he was staring at him like he never did before. Alec had no experience when it came to this stuff. He couldn't figure out what that face meant and now he was scared looking at Jace and seeing it again.

"Stop doing that!" Alec demanded his _parabatai_. 

"Doing what?" 

"That face. Stop doing that face. What does it mean?"

"You do seem to be lacking understanding on a lot of things today, Alec." 

Alec wanted to leave and save himself the embarrassment of saying something else he will regret later but Jace was letting him go. By now he had no idea where everyone else was. It was just him and Jace.

"This is about me seeing you naked the other night? I've said I'm sorry but..."

"But what?" Alec asked. "What do you even mean?"

"I'm not really that sorry."

Now Alec felt he was being slapped hard in the face. Was this a joke to Jace? Did he enjoyed messing with his feelings or did he knew about his feelings at all? Maybe Alec was just being paranoid. Again he tried to leave but Jace grabbed his arm once more. 

"We shouldn't do this I know. I shouldn't have said anything and I wasn't going to but you left me no other choice. Whatever is happening between us right now, we have to fix it, Alec."

"What do you mean we have to fix it?"  

"We need to talk about our feelings." 

Okay, this was it, Jace was out of his mind, Alec was pretty sure of it. Was he dreaming? 

"I don't know what you mean." Alec said and for the third time he started walking away.

"I like you Alec." Jace said but Alec kept walking and this time Jace didn't bothered to stop him. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> something I forgot to mention: I do not own the characters. All credit goes to Cassandra.


	3. Forbidden Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Alec's cheeks became bright red in an instant. He hated that his body could give that away so easily. He didn't wanted Jace to know the effect he had on him. What his words meant or what he wanted them to mean."

Alec made his way down to the weapons room. Perhaps Jace wasn't being serious or maybe he meant he liked him in the friends way or like a brother.  _Yes, it's probably just that I'm sure._ Alec liked Jace since the very first moment he saw him, or at least he thought so. Jace was always attractive from a very young age, although they all made jokes about it and laughed it off whenever Jace had one of his cocky moments but truth to be told, he had a point. He was beautiful indeed. Alec was never sure if Jace felt the same so they ended up being best friends and later  _parabatai._ And he was okay with it, at least he tried to. He had never put them into a dangerous position, their fighting skills were amazing, they were quite perfect together and Alec didn't wanted that to be ruined but then Jace had to walk in on him naked. Alec was fine hiding his true feelings but recent events were not making it easier and the result was his terrible mad mood and people thinking he was rude. 

It didn't took long before Jace showed up. 

"So, I'm pretty sure it wasn't my incredible good looks that made you leave. Would you mind explaining?" Jace said with a smirk on his face. He was not making this easy on Alec.

"Do you honestly believe everyone is attracted to you?" Alec asked and this time he couldn't help it but to laugh.

 "Is it wrong if my answer is affirmative?" Jace asked. 

Sometimes Alec wondered if he was actually serious, if he really reached that level of being so conceited. 

Alec wanted to ask about Clary but he also didn't wanted to start a fight with Jace. And he didn't wanted to talk about what he said either so he decided to stay quiet. 

"Will you please speak to me?" Jace got closer. 

"I have nothing to say." Alec replied stepping away.

"Not even, I like you too, Jace?" He ignored Alec moving and got even closer this time. 

Alec's cheeks became bright red in an instant. He hated that his body could give that away so easily. He didn't wanted Jace to know the effect he had on him. What his words meant or what he wanted them to mean. For all this years he had dreamed about them, about Jace feeling the same and now this was happening and he could swear this was just a dream. Perhaps he was still in bed, he never woke up and this wasn't reality. Or even something else, maybe someone had worked some magic on him and this was definitely not happening. 

"Of course I like you. You are my parabatai." Alec replied.

Jace moved aside and he threw the knife he was holding. "No. That's not what I meant. Not like  _parabatai._ Do you love me Alec?" 

Alec froze. Was he for real? 

"What are you trying to do Jace? If this is to feed your ego please stop. I'm leaving now." 

They didn't noticed Clary was in the room as well, in fact after this moment they didn't noticed anything else besides the two of them. Jace was sick of playing this game. He knew Alec, he was his parabatai but he was his friend too above it all. He knew him and well and he decided it was not fair to let things continue like this. Alec would never admit his true feelings and he would never believe Jace unless he did something about it. Unless he could prove to him that he was being serious. That this wasn't some game and he wasn't playing with his feelings or this was his way of getting a confession out of him. Jace's feelings were real.

Jace got closer and this time Alec didn't bothered to move at all. He put his arms around his waist pulling him closer. "What are you doing?" Alec whispered but he didn't bothered to fight back or remove Jace's arms. He let him do it. Maybe this is what he needed, to find out if his feelings were real or not. Alec stopped thinking and went for it. With Jace's arms still around his waist he grabbed his face and leaned in for the kiss. 

It was even better than what Alec had imagined. He wanted this. Oh he wanted this so badly. Jace's lips were soft and it was the best first kiss Alec could have ever asked for. He didn't had much experience which he was sure wasn't the case for Jace. But it was perfect and he was more certain now about his feelings than before. He couldn't help but wonder, however, did Jace felt the same? Did this kiss meant exactly the same or was it the last drop? The confirmation that his supposed love for Alec was nothing but an illusion. 

"This was... something." Jace said. 

Of course that was a strike to Alec's confidence.  _Was it awful? Did I do something wrong? Did I read all this signs wrong?_

"Don't look so worried Alec. It was good. I liked it. And again, I like you." 

"You do realize that we can not be. We are not allowed to fall in love." 

"Did that ever stopped anyone?" Jace asked. It was clear he didn't took this as serious as Alec did. And it bothered him, oh it did so very much. 

"I need some time to think. I do hope this does not come between us Jace." 

* * *

 

Alec's parents were back at the Institute and with them came Max.  _Great._ Alec thought. He loved Max but he was always around Jace and with what was happening lately, he couldn't afford his little brother to see something he shouldn't. Clary was still at the Institute and she quickly became friends with Max. It also didn't took long before her friend - Simon - to join them all and drool all over because of Isabelle. 

For Alec this was the worst thing that could happen. Not only his relation with Jace was a complete mess and breaking all the rules, the Institute was now filled with mundanes which was also breaking rules.   
The more Alec saw Jace being around Clary the more he believed there was something going on with the two of them. It made him jealous and he couldn't ignore it. Such jealousy ended up having consequences on the way he acted around her. Just the other day she had confronted him about his feelings for Jace and he wasn't exactly the nicest person towards her. 

"Alec, son, do you mind taking a moment? I need to speak to you." Robert approached his son.

Alec nodded and followed his father into the library which was empty at the moment. "Did something happened?" By being the oldest, Alec was used to being called or consulted about the Clave matters or what was happening. 

"I wanted to talk to you about Jace." Robert said and Alec's heart skipped a bit. "There's something you need to know."

"Father, I'm not sure what you've heard or something of the sort but..." Robert cut him off. He didn't seemed upset, in fact he seemed sad and disappointed which Alec wasn't sure how that made him feel.

"I had a parabatai once." Robert began.

"Yes, I know. Michael Wayland. Jace's father." Alec said.

"Yes, exactly." Robert replied. "You see, we were parabatai and we were very close friends. In fact we were like the same person. He made me happy and I believe I made him happy as well. But one day Michael told me something and I took it badly."Robert took a deep breath.

"What did he tell you?" Alec asked.

"He told me he loved me." Alec's face was filled with shock. He couldn't believe he was hearing this from his father. "And I treated him badly. I distanced myself from him. I knew it wasn't right. I knew it wasn't right because I loved him too. We were in love and I never got the chance to tell him my feelings were the same. You see we wouldn't be accepted back then, two men in love? Not to mention it is forbidden love."

"Why are you telling me this father?" 

"Because I don't believe in the law. I don't believe that love between parabatai should be forbidden. What destroyed my relation with Michael wasn't that we fell in love and then we fell out of love, what ruined it was how I reacted about it, what I decided to do and the pain my actions and words caused. I give this advice to you son, it's all about the person you are and how you decide to manage what falls upon you. I may not be very supportive of you in the past but I am not blind and I can see you love your parabatai." 

"Father..." Alec had no idea what to say.

"It's okay Alexander. Just remember what I told you." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so another chapter yay! I kinda feel like this Jace is a bit ooc? no, maybe, idk? I mean I know that in the books he doesn't has feelings for Alec but that's kinda the point of the fic ahah. So in the books we know how he's willing to be with Clary even if they are siblings so I'm going to do the same here and make him not be bother with the fact parabatai are not supposed to fall in love.  
> Also if you haven't noticed yet, Jace is bisexual here. I will of course eventually make him be with Clary as well and Alec will find his way to Magnus. Till then, enjoy :)  
> And guess what, Robert was also in love with his parabatai!!! But he was rude about it (as we know actually happened but I decided to add a few more things) and he decides to give Alec some advice.


	4. What Went Wrong?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their warrior bond was intact. Their friend bond, not so much.

Alec didn't knew what to tell he's father. All he was thinking is that if his father knew that meant most of them knew it as well. Isabelle, his mother... Was he not good at hiding his feelings after all? All this time when he thought no one knew and all was fine, they were probably judging him or talking behind his back. Jace, of course, he knew it and he always had.  _Is he playing with my emotions? Does he think this is funny?_ Alec thought. He had a hard time believing Jace actually cared about him in that way and they kiss. Oh the kiss. It was amazing and Alec loved it but Jace was a flirt, it was part of who he was and he made sure to share around his charms with everyone, was Alec just another one? Then there was Clary, the mundane girl  - who Alec still didn't wanted to believe could possibly have shadowhunter blood - that Jace was all over. He liked her, Alec could tell at least that. And now Jace _loved_ Alec as well.  _  
_

"Alec are you alright?" It was Isabelle. Alec snapped out of his thoughts. He didn't knew what to tell her or if he should tell her anything at all. 

"Everything is fine. Where's Clary?" He asked.

"She's with Jace." She said while noticing the look on her brother's face. "They are in the Greenhouse." 

"Of course they are." 

"Alec!" Isabelle shouted. 

He turned around and she had the curiosity look.  _This shall be good._

"What did Father wanted?" She asked.

"Just some story. Nothing important. And I know what all of you must be thinking but it is not the truth. Now if you excuse me." 

"Alec!" Isabelle shouted again. "I have to tell you something." 

Alec was exhausted. This last few days had been absolutely crazy. More crazy than the usual shadowhunter life. He took a deep breath and then proceeded to ask his sister what it was she wanted to tell him so badly.

"I was talking to Clary and she told me she saw you." She said. She was hoping her brother would understand without having to say the exact words.

"Be more specific Izzy. She's apparently living here now, of course she sees me."

"I mean... She saw _you._ You and Jace. In the weapons room. Do I really need to say it all?" 

"Oh." Alec said. In fact that's all he could say. Clary knew which wasn't exactly a surprise for him, but for her to have seen it, witness that pure and lovely moment between him and Jace that, himself wasn't sure exactly what it meant, and now he had strangers walking around talking about his privacy.

"That's all you have to say? I know I don't have a parabatai but I do know this, whatever it is, can not happen, Alec. Do you understand me?"

"Isabelle, trust me. I know."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"There's nothing to talk about. Me and Jace are parabatai, we love each other like we are supposed to. Nothing more."

* * *

 

The more days it passed the more Alec realized what they truly meant by a romantic bond being forbidden when it came to being parabatai. This whole thing was a mess. Yes they fought, they kept doing the same they always did. That bond between him and Jace could never be ruined. But truth to be told, things were different. There was an awkwardness around, the way they spoke to each other daily, when they trained together and their bodies touched. The electricity flowing between them. They didn't really talked much about the kiss after it happened. Clary drama of course. They were too focus on that to deal with each other's feelings. Not once they got each other into trouble or endanger their lives because of it. For Alec that was a victory already. Their warrior bond was intact. Their friend bond, not so much. 

"Ah, hello?" Alec turned around to face a very looking confused boy. He was wearing glasses and looked around Clary's age. This had to be her mundane friend.

"You are?" Alec asked.

"I'm Simon. Alec right?" He asked back. Alec simply nodded and waited for Simon to speak his mind. "I... Well I kinda lost my way out. I thought you could help me."

"Where's your mundane friend?" 

"Oh, you mean Clary? First I'm pretty sure she is not a mundane since you know, her mother was a shadowhunter apparently,  and she's probably with Jace. Doing Clary and Jace things." 

_Doing Clary and Jace things. Great, how wonderful._

"You know, Clary is not so bad. She's my best friend and she's an amazing person. I'm sure you would like her if you all gave her a chance." Simon said. 

Alec was about to reply but meanwhile he received a call from Jace. "Get Isabelle." He told Simon. "I have to meet Jace. Tell her to meet us at Taki's. Breakfast." Simon looked at it in a weird way and then went, or at least tried to his best to find Isabelle. 

"Hey." Alec said when he arrived and he didn't enjoyed seeing Clary and Jace together at all. They looked like a couple even though they didn't realized it themselves and it made Alec sick. "Isabelle's is coming as well, she's bringing Simon, or whatever his name is." 

Clary rolled her eyes. "His name IS Simon." 

"Whatever. So let's eat I'm starving." 

Jace was staring at Alec and he probably wanted to say something but ever since the kiss, he never knew what to say or how to act around him. Everyone else was starting to notice. Especially since they knew about it, all of them, except Simon. 

"So we got a name. Magnus Bane. The name in Clary's head. We need to find him." Jace said. 

Saying that name had bothered Alec, especially since they were in a place full of Downworlders. Isabelle arrived, alongside with Simon. Right on time to hear them talk about Magnus. She pulled something out of her purse. It was an invitation and lucky it was an invitation to a party at _Magnus Bane_ home. 

Alec wasn't really excited about this part but everyone, especially Jace was extremely interested on what happened to Clary and as his parabatai, of course he was going. At least to protect him as much as he could, same with his sister. Clary was a wearing a really tight and short dress, that belonged to Izzy of course and Jace was drooling all over.

The moment he saw Magnus, nothing else mattered. It's like the world stopped. He doesn't knows what happened or why he felt the way he did, but something had lured him to Magnus. Alec wasn't feeling okay so he had to leave, immediately. 

"Hey. You barely got here. Are you leaving already?" Magnus touched Alec's arm. 

Alec tried to speak but no matter what he tried, no words came out. Instead he just babbled something about having to leave. Magnus hand left a mark in his arm. 

 

Alec was lying on his bed. Wide awake, gear still on. He had no idea what had happened to the rest of them. Whatever Magnus had done to him, had made him lose sense of himself and most of all, his duty as a brother, a parabatai and a shadowhunter. He left them and he didn't even bothered to tell them why. Perhaps he drank something? But he couldn't remember doing such thing. Maybe Magnus had cast a spell on him. 

"ALEC!" Jace walked in, as it was getting a routine now, without knocking or even bothering at all. 

"You seriously need to stop doing this." Alec said.

"What happened to you? Why did you left?" Before giving Alec a chance to reply, Jace kept going. "And what the hell was happening between you and Magnus? Why was he touching your arm? Do you know each other?"

Jace took a deep breath and decided to sit on the chair on the corner of Alec's bedroom.

"Are you finished?" 

"I suppose I am."

" _Are you jealous?"_

"What kind of question is that Alec? I believe you are quite missing the point right now. Did you drank something? Did you became a rat like Simon?  Did Magnus do something to you?"

 _Oh he sure did._ Alec thought. But not what Jace was hoping to hear.

"What do you mean, what happened to Simon?"

"Nothing to be bothered now. Well, actually maybe a little but first things first. We need to talk about you. Why did you left us, why did you leave  _me?"_

"I'm sorry." Alec finally said. "To be honest with you, I'm not sure what happened." 

"Do you like Magnus?"

"Jace, please. I don't even  _know_ Magnus." 

"Would you like to?"

Alec stayed quiet for a moment. He didn't had a good answer for Jace.

"No, maybe, I don't know." Was his answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or some of the scenarios you may see. All credit goes to Cassandra Clare.
> 
> I decided to skip the scenes so to speak that happen in the book and go straight to what I made up and the drama involving Alec, Jace and now Magnus.


	5. Maybe The 3 Of Us Could Play This Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " Jace was his parabatai so that was breaking a rule already but Magnus, he wasn't sure which one was worse. A warlock - a downworlder - or your parabatai. "

The Simon situation was resolved, or at least most of it, there was a bit of a down side - no pun intended - he was now a vampire. Of course that wasn't going to be easy. For Alec he was starting to appreciate Clary a bit more, because of her he could see Magnus more often. He didn't knew why he was so interested or why he felt the need to see him, but for now he was going to let things play themselves. There was also the situation with Jace that needed to be solved. After Alec told him he maybe wanted to get to know Magnus, Jace had gone away. He was upset, that much Alec knew. But what he couldn't understand is how Jace could act so jealous and upset when he also acted like he was madly in love with Clary. Because it wasn't enough that he was gay and that could cause him to be rejected from everybody else, including his own parents, he also had to deal with a very complicated love life. Jace was his  _parabatai_ so that was breaking a rule already but Magnus, he wasn't sure which one was worse. A warlock - a downworlder - or your parabatai. 

"Alec?" Isabelle said as she got near to her brother. She wasn't nearly as upset as Jace had been for what Alec did. She was surprised yes, because this wasn't the Alec they knew, who was always there to protect them no matter, to make sure they broke no rules. He wasn't usually this careless. 

Alec simply nodded and acknowledged her present in the room. They were in the library, everyone else was either at the greenhouse, weapons or training room. For now it was just Izzy and Alec.

"Are you going to talk to Magnus?" Alec looked at his sister with pure horror. But deep down he was a little bit amused.

"Why would I do such thing?" He asked.

"I see the way your eyes light up when he walks into the room. I notice the way your whole body postures changes. And for one second I see the brother I wish I could see everyday. Someone who believes they deserve that happiness, the one you see when you look at Magnus. It doesn't mean you should stop caring about the world and all of us but you deserve that happiness, to stop feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders. And you see that when you look at Magnus don't you? You believe you could happy and that you deserve it. That he would accept you the way you are." Alec had no idea what to say or if there was something he could say at all. "Of course, there's also that whole tension between the two of you that I rather not make comments." She added.

"Of course, you had to kill the moment." Alec joked.

Izzy was right, she was. Alec felt all that when he looked at Magnus, for one second he saw his whole life ahead of him, being happy, being accepted by everyone around him. But what Izzy didn't saw was the overwhelming fear that came right after. When he felt his legs failing on him, the sweaty palms and his heart beat racing, all that not coming from a good side. The fear of what their parents would think, Magnus was a warlock, he knew things, he has seen things that were beyond Alec. He had to admit he felt something bigger and greater when he looked at Magnus, something he had never felt before when he looked at Jace. With Jace things were safe, or they would be if they weren't parabatai, he's like him, they fight for the same. Being with Magnus meant giving himself up, opening up his heart and fight against his entire world. His father had gone through the same with his parabatai and he was now sympathetic to Alec's situation but he would never be to Alec dating a downworlder. 

"Just think about it Alec. Or perhaps do it quickly since well, Magnus is here."

"You set me up." He replied. "That's just wrong on so many levels Izzy!" 

 "Is this about Jace?" She asked.

"No. I, I don't know. We haven't really talked about this." 

"Alec, you are my brother and I want you happy. I'm not saying Magnus might be the love of your life or your greatest choice but I do know that Jace isn't. He is your parabatai and you love him so but you should talk to him. I think he's interested in Clary." Those words felt like a sharp knife being twisted in Alec's heart. He knew whatever attempt to a romantic relation with Jace was doomed but he was expecting them to at least discuss it. 

"Hello Alexander." Alec turned to find Magnus standing at the entrance of the library.

Izzy went away with a smirk on her face. Alec's eyes lighted up exactly the way his sister had described it. However that didn't took long before Jace had walked in the room as well. Alec had now decided he would have to tie Jace with something that made noise, like a warning alarm that he was about to walk in otherwise he would keep walking in into places he couldn't, ruin moments or see what he wasn't meant to see. 

Alec said something that neither Magnus or Jace really understood but it sounded most likely like a bad word. 

"What do you need Jace?" Alec said.

"I need to speak with you,  _Alexander."_

"Did something happened?" 

"Maybe, yes. Let's talk, now." 

Magnus looked around and with a very amusing look said "I'll let you speak. I can return later, or never at all."

"Magnus, please wait!" Alec asked but it was too late, he was gone. "This better be worth it." He turned to Jace.

"I had no idea you two were so friendly now."

"Speak." Alec demanded. 

"I miss you." Jace said. He sat on a chair and grabbed a book to seem more casual. But this was a serious conversation.

"Do you miss me in what way?"

"I kissed Clary." Now that a conversation killer.

No one else spoke for a while. There was really no way to continue the conversation without ending badly. They would either get upset at each other, act jealous and demand explanations or pretend they don't care and get hurt. Either way Alec had to say something.They couldn't let this continue, he was now lost on what was happening. It was me and Jace with an addiction of Clary and now Magnus. It was becoming something Alec wasn't sure they could handle.

"Do you like her?"

"Do you like Magnus?"

"That's not really fair is it?" Alec asked. 

"What is fair,  _Alexander?_ I know you love me. You have for a while now and I said I liked you, you walked away. I kissed you, we never spoke again about it. And now you have Magnus." 

"I don't have Magnus. And stop saying my name like that. Because you know he calls me Alexander. And you have Clary. Oh Clary this, Clary that, love me love me." 

"Maybe she does." 

Alec and Jace were best friends, they knew each other for a long time so it was typical to once in a while get into fights, harmless brotherly fights. But right now Alec really felt like punching him in the face.

"Great then. Have fun with her. I'll have fun with Magnus." Alec didn't really meant it, he was hurt and he was probably sure that whatever was happening between him and Magnus was probably over ever he left. Alec wasn't a child but this clearly seemed like a child's game.

* * *

He didn't knew why or what had gotten him to do it, he just felt like walking and walking. No where to go, no clear destination. That until he reached the door. He ran the bell and he had no idea what he would say or what he should do. Would he be mad? Send him home? In the end, Alec didn't really cared. 

Someone opened the door. He had his typical amused look but he looked intrigued as well. 

"Hi." Alec said. 

" _Alexander."_

"I'm sorry, I needed to see you." 


	6. Not Your Typical Shadowhunter Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This wasn't his typical morning at all, but he knew Alec needed this. Some time off and a chance to think things through. Magnus didn't wanted to ask, maybe it was easier to let him do his thing, then leave. But he was curious and most of all, he found himself caring.

"I'm sorry. I needed to see you." 

Magnus let him inside. He looked upset and for a moment Magnus could swear he had seen some tears. 

"Do you need something?" 

"No, I'm fine. Thank you." Alec replied. 

He wasn't sure what he was doing here, did he wanted to talk? Maybe he just needed to spend time with someone who wouldn't judge him or make him feel conflicted. Who wouldn't force him to spill out his feelings on a plate. Magnus was okay with that too. For the time he had seen Alec, he knew more or less by now the way he was. It also wasn't hard to guess this had something to do with Jace.

Alec ended up staying for the night. Not once Magnus forced him to speak or share what really had made him get there. The only words Magnus heard coming out his mouth were probably the ones he said when he opened the door "I needed to see you." For Magnus that was more than enough. 

Magnus woke up to the smell of food and coffee. He got up and made his way to the kitchen. He was shocked to watch Alec Lightwood, making what appeared to be breakfast. 

"What are you doing?" Magnus asked.

"Making breakfast?" Alec replied. "Want some? Coffee is still hot." 

 _You are hot._ Magnus thought. The sloppy hair and those perfect blue eyes made Magnus feel something. Was he falling in love?  _No, don't be crazy Magnus. He's just a pretty confused boy, really confused boy who might need your help, nothing else._

"Sure." Magnus said and he sit. 

This wasn't his typical morning at all, but he knew Alec needed this. Some time off and a chance to think things through. Magnus didn't wanted to ask, maybe it was easier to let him do his thing, then leave. But he was curious and most of all, he found himself caring.

"So are you going to tell me what this is all about?" 

Alec sit down. He was drinking coffee and suddenly he had no idea what to say or do. Perhaps it was hitting him that he was in Magnus one. Sitting right in front of him. Someone with more experience in everything. 

"I just needed some place to go." He stopped to take a sip on his coffee. "Clary is in love with Jace." He said. 

Magnus was quiet for a while which bothered Alec.

"So? Aren't you going to say something?"

"Does that upset you, Alexander? That Clary loves Jace?" 

He was starting to feel uncomfortable so he kept moving on his chair. "Maybe it does. After all..." How could he say it? How could he say that he and his parabatai had kissed? That he loved him as long as he could remember? Alec was sure Magnus was aware of the rules. 

"You and Jace kissed." Magnus simply said. 

"How do you? Well it doesn't matter does it? This whole situation is nonsense." 

"Alec," Magnus began and he decided to stand up. "do not hide from your feelings. Jace is probably confused as well. Apparently he likes to kiss people. Did he told you he loved you?" 

Alec didn't said anything for a while. The feeling of having Magnus standing so close to where he was sitting was becoming overwhelming. He had never felt this way before. Of course he had loved Jace, he _loves_  Jace but he never felt the same way he does with Magnus around. This was something else.

"No." He finally managed to say. "He said he liked me. But he loves me I'm sure." 

"He loves you because you are his parabatai, or does he loves you like you love a lover?" 

Alec choke on his coffee. Magnus went immediately to his assistance. "There there Alec, don't need to die over this."  

"What am I doing?" Alec said. He looked tired, exhausted even. "I'm a shadowhunter god damn it. I fight demons, I shouldn't feel this miserable because of  _love._ "

Magnus had lived for so long, his idea and opinion of love had changed. He felt things differently, he saw things differently but he wasn't going to let a bright young man to feel this terrible because he was in love. He could tell Alec had suffered a lot with his "secret" and he wasn't going to let this madness continue. 

"Love is not the cause of your pain. It's this stupid rules and this stupid people playing with your emotions. _Alexander_ , you deserve so much better. You deserve someone who will appreciate you every step of the way. Who will love you, all of you no matter what. Someone who will not be confused and mixed in love triangles. Who will give all the love to you and only you. And perhaps Jace does like you but I know this hurts, but he might be in love with Clary as well." 

Alec had no words. In fact all he wanted to do was kiss Magnus. But he didn't felt what he did when he kissed Jace, he was feeling something different. He wanted Magnus, he felt attracted to him. He felt  _desire._

 Magnus was still standing and Alec decided to do the same. He had no idea where this was going but he needed it, most of all he wanted that. Magnus was expecting him to fight back with his words, claim how much he was unworthy of being loved the way Magnus had described, but that's not what Alec did. He got up, pushed Magnus against the counter and kissed him. This was nothing like his first kiss. This was full of passion and desire. Feelings Alec had never experienced before. Thoughts of doing things he had never once thought about before. Magnus didn't fought back, in fact he kissed Alec back. Alec wasn't scared this time, he didn't thought he wasn't good enough, all he thought about was how much he wanted Magnus and how good he made him feel. 

 Magnus stopped to catch his breath.

"Are you...?" Alec didn't let him finish.

"Yes." He whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG TO UPDATE. I updated the first 5 chapters like 1 each day but from now on it might take a bit more time. I still don't know how many chapters this will have. I'll write more fics so don't worry.
> 
> This chapter is also a bit shorter but I really wanted to update already and I'm lacking the time to write more at the moment.


	7. Tender

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ""Of course I want you!" Magnus turned around, he had moved away to catch his breath and not let the temptation take over him and overtake his logic and morals. "I want you since the moment I first saw him." Magnus confessed.

Magnus grabbed Alec's hand and told him to follow him. He was taking him to the bedroom. Magnus was feeling anxious for once he knew Alec was inexperienced and right now he was full of desire and need but Magnus did not wanted to overwhelm him. Alec's impulse was to throw Magnus into the bed, there was an itching need of having him, possess him. But then he thought, he had no idea exactly what to do. How to make Magnus want him, how exactly it would work. 

His hands move up to his torso, he was delighted to feel him, so strong and capable. The obvious signs of training and a life of fighting, that's what you got from dating a shadowhunter, one of the many things. But then Magnus had to remind himself that they were not dating yet and then he stopped. He was halfway of removing Alec's shirt.

Alec swallowed and then asked "what's the matter? Did I do something?"

"Alexander," Magnus spoke and he stroke Alec's face, gently "My dear, you did nothing wrong at all". 

"Then why?" Alec asked. He put himself together, fixing his shirt and he sit on the bed. His eyes were still full of desire but there a hint of disappointment in them. "Do you not want me?" He asked again.

"Of course I want you!" Magnus turned around, he had moved away to catch his breath and not let the temptation take over him and overtake his logic and morals. "I want you since the moment I first saw him." Magnus confessed. 

"Then why?" Alec begged.

Magnus moved to his face, sitting and making sure they were facing each other. He wanted to be the most sincere possible. To make sure Alec would not twist his words or think less of himself. 

"We are not even dating." He began. "And I want us to be each other's, oh so very much. But not like this, not just to release whatever feelings you are having. You and I both. I want to get to know you, learn everything about you. And then I'm going to take you, and we are going to make sweet sweet love." 

Alec blushed. He was not used to this, to those words. He was so blind with need he had completely forgotten what this really implied. He as well wanted to get to know Magnus. He didn't wanted to do something he could so easily regret after. What if he never saw Magnus again? 

"Let's set up a date then?" He guessed.

"Yes. That's a wonderful idea." Magnus replied. "Now I believe you ought to make a few amends with a certain other, shadowhunter." 

"If you mean Jace, I have no idea what to do"

"Be honest, tell him what truly is going on, what you are feeling and ask what he is feeling." Magnus told him.

Magnus never thought he would be giving advice, this time of advice, he could only remember _Will Herondale_ , once upon a time, and yet here he was again. Helping a shadowhunter, _falling for a shadowhunter_.

* * *

 

Alec went back to the Institute, he was feeling better that was for sure. He was also feeling brave and ready to speak to Jace. It had to be done and it was pointless to run away. He was nervous he admitted that. He was standing outside Jace's room, tapping his foot on the floor. Jace came at the door, he was looking funny at Alec.

"Were you going to knock?" He asked.

Alec burst inside. "We need to talk." 

"Okay?"

"I'm going on a date with Magnus." He didn't meant to say that, but that was the first thing that came out. 

Jace didn't replied, he just walked around. Waiting for Alec to say something else.

"We should end whatever it is that's going on between us. I'm sorry if I made you feel something or tried to force you into something. That was not my intention, I like you of course. I love you, as my parabatai."

Jace couldn't understand whatever it was that happened. Did Alec really moved on that easily? Did he not cared for him? Jace realized then that he was being selfish. He as well, had something going on with Clary. It was unfair from him to ask something of Alec. To demand him to like him and appreciate him. The attention felt good, to be desired by people. But he desired Alec as well. Maybe they both had mistaken _parabatai_ love for something else.

"Do you like him? Magnus I mean." Jace finally spoke. 

"Yes I do. I mean, I'm confused but I like being with him. He makes me feel... alive. He makes me feel special. I think there's good chances for us." 

"Well then I'm happy for you. I want you to know that, there is no hard feelings, at all."

"What about Clary?" Alec asked.

"It's complicated." Jace simply said. 

Alec asked about it and he told him. They were brothers again and it all actually felt normal, mundane even. There was a certain relief and feeling of freedom to be able to speak about dates, boyfriends, girlfriends etc with his best friend in the world. Talking without the fear of being judged, or what he could think. And finally, Alec felt happy. Despise everything, he was indeed happy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to add another chapter but now I realize I didn't want to mess it up. Alec is happy so that's what matters. I'm going to focus now on writing short stories about malec and creating a series. Enjoy and keep an eye open for what's to come!

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters. All credit goes to Cassandra Clare.
> 
> Any spelling mistakes etc, they will be corrected when I finish this work.


End file.
